| The Royal Tandoori | 
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 | RD | BM | 
| Name (1-5) | 
 | 2 | 3 
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| Website (1-5) | 
 | 2 
 | 3 | 
| Ambience (1-5) | 
 | 3 | 3 | 
| Music (1-5) | 
 | 2 | 3 | 
| Menu (1-5) | 
 | 3 | 3 | 
| Beer (1-5) | 
 | 2 | 2 
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| The Food | 
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| Popadom/Dip (1-5) | 
 | 2 
 | 2 
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| Starter (1-20) | 
 | 11 | 8 | 
| Main (1-20) | 
 | 8 
 | 8 
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| Sidedish (1-5) | 
 | 1 
 | 3 | 
| Dessert (1-5) | 
 | 2 
 | 3 | 
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| A Bit on The Side | 
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| Service (1-10) | 
 | 6 
 | 6 
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| Toilets (1-5) | 
 | 4 
 | 4 
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| Towels Mints Stuff (1-5) | 
 | 3 | 2 
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| VFM (±1) | 
 | -1 | 0 | 
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| Bonus Points | 
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| Bangla Beer | 
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| Free Stuff | 
 | 0 
 | 1 
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| Fight | 
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| Pictures of Famous Happy Customers | 
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| You might see… | 
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| Barak Obama | 
 | 0 
 | 0 | 
| Glenn Hoddle | 
 | 0 | 0 | 
| Rugby 3rd XV | 
 | 0 | 0 | 
| Vicki Pollard | 
 | 0 | 0 | 
| Owner shaking hands with Gandhi (+100) | 
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| Total | 
 | 50 | 54 
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| How did it leave me? | 
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| Great curry | 
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| Next day squits | 
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| Not enough bog roll in the fridge | 
 | yes 
 | yes 
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| That night wishing you were dead | 
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| Summary | 
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| Good for… | 
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| >80 | Night out with your Swedish au pair | 
| 65-80 | Friends | 
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| 60-65 | A detour | 
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| 55-60 | Dinner with the missus | 
| 50-55 | Place on the way home from the pub | 
| 40-50 | Recommending to your worse enemy | 
| <40 | A Fight | 
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