| Chilli and Spice | |||
| RR | RD | BM | |
| Name (1-5) | 3 | 3 | 3 | 
| Website (1-5) | 2 | 2 | 2 | 
| Ambience (1-5) | 2 | 2 | 3 | 
| Music (1-5) | 2 | 4 | 3 | 
| Menu (1-5) | 3 | 3 | 2 | 
| Beer (1-5) | 3 | 3 | 2 | 
| The Food | |||
| Popadom/Dip (1-5) | 4 | 3 | 4 | 
| Starter (1-20) | 15 | 15 | 17 | 
| Main (1-20) | 15 | 13 | 13 | 
| Sidedish (1-5) | 3 | 4 | 3 | 
| Dessert (1-5) | 3 | 3 | 2 | 
| A Bit on The Side | |||
| Service (1-10) | 8 | 7 | 7 | 
| Toilets (1-5) | 3 | 3 | 3 | 
| Towels Mints Stuff (1-5) | 2 | 3 | 1 | 
| VFM (±1) | 0 | 0 | 0 | 
| Bonus Points | |||
| Bangla Beer | 0 | 0 | 0 | 
| Internal Neon / Moving Water Picture | 0 | 0 | 0 | 
| Free Stuff | 1 | 1 | 1 | 
| Fight | 0 | 0 | 0 | 
| Pictures of Famous Happy Customers | 0 | 0 | 0 | 
| You might see… | |||
| Barak Obama | 0 | 0 | 0 | 
| Glenn Hoddle | 0 | 0 | 0 | 
| Rugby 3rd XV | 0 | 0 | 0 | 
| Vicki Pollard | 0 | 0 | 0 | 
| Owner shaking hands with Gandhi (+100) | |||
| Total | 69 | 69 | 66 | 
| How did it leave me? | |||
| Unknown Superlative | |||
| Great Curry | |||
| A Fine and Tasty Meal | yes | ||
| Next day squits | yes | yes | |
| Not enough bog roll in the fridge | |||
| Little or no control of my bodily functions | |||
| That night wishing you were dead | |||
| Summary | |||
| Good for… | |||
| >80 | Night out with your Swedish au pair | ||
| 65-80 | Friends | ||
| 60-65 | A detour | ||
| 55-60 | Dinner with the missus | ||
| 50-55 | Place on the way home from the pub | ||
| 40-50 | Recommending to your worse enemy | ||
| <40 | A Fight | ||